


Minuscules

by frapandfurious, squire



Series: Big Brothers AU [23]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Arguments, Developing Relationship, F/M, Ficlet Collection, Fluff, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Making Up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2019-11-23 22:57:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18158141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frapandfurious/pseuds/frapandfurious, https://archiveofourown.org/users/squire/pseuds/squire
Summary: A collection of ficlets belonging to the Big Brothers AU published over the years on Tumblr that we'd like to keep in one place.Each story is a standalone, at a different point in their timeline. See chapter notes for details.





	1. Two can play that game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set some months, maybe a year into their relationship. Hux is about to be surprised…

Hux slipped into the hotel apartment as quietly as he could, just in case Ben managed to fall asleep already. He needn’t have worried - just as he nudged the door closed with his toe, the bottles he scavenged from the reception downstairs cold and slippery in his hands, he could hear the crappy TV from just behind the wall. Hux put his loot on a tray, added a couple of glasses from the bathroom and carried it all into the small living area slash bedroom - Ben was there, sprawled on the bed, atop of the covers and wrinkling his suit pants beyond recognition, watching some grainy rerun of CSI. Hearing the clinking of bottles he looked up and gave a stiff, blue wrapped little wave.

“Does it still hurt?” Hux asked, putting the tray down and taking Ben’s hand to examine it.

“Not really since they put the brace on,” Ben admitted. The brace bound two of his fingers together and fixed the wrist in a soft but sturdy support. “The doctor said it’s probably not even broken but can’t be sure without an x-ray.”

Hux’s expression clearly said that the x-ray would be first thing on the agenda as soon as they got home. Ben dropped his eyes.

“I know. Of all the times to fuck up…”

“Attempting a backflip in the middle of the dance floor isn’t even the worst that’s still going on down there,” Hux assured him dryly. Manu’s extended family certainly knew how to party, especially when it came to a wedding of one of his numerous cousins. Hux would have just wished the night didn’t end with the pair of them making an impromptu trip to the ER - but Ben was right, his little finger was probably just sprained, and the party lost nothing of its swing if the cheering noise coming from the hall downstairs was anything to go by. And besides, the night didn’t have to end, yet.

“Are you watching that?”

Ben’s face immediately lit up. He gave Hux a deliberately slow once-over, from the still perfect tie knot to the tips of his polished shoes and back, and grinned.

“There wasn’t anything more interesting… up to now.”

Hux reflected the grin with a tiny smirk of his own.

“Want to make it even more interesting?” he asked, reaching into his pocket and producing a stack of cards.

Ben’s eager expression faltered slightly. “And here I hoped I would be getting you out of that suit,” he muttered. Hux’s smirk only grew.

“Maybe you will,” he drawled. “Depending on how well you’ll play.”

To his surprise, Ben’s face didn’t immediately revert to that sly, seductive smile. His eyes narrowed slightly and for a moment he looked almost conflicted - and then Hux remembered that misplaced competitiveness has already caused Ben a painful injury tonight, and maybe he wasn’t up for getting his ass handed to him a second time…

“Fine,” Ben said, that grin suddenly back, sharper than ever. He scooted over on the bed to make room for Hux and grabbed the packet, shuffling it somewhat inexpertly - he probably didn’t get to play much, not nearly as much as Hux did. This was going to be too easy.

“And how fair is that I am already short of my jacket and shirt?” He had to remove those items before they wrapped his hand in the brace, his thin undershirt now the only thing covering his upper body - and doing a poor job anyway. Hux licked his lips at the glimpse of toned abs shifting under the basically see-through fabric.

“Be it your punishment for getting yourself injured,” Hux said and dragged the single chair over to the bed.

After the first round, Ben sighed and pulled off one of his socks.

The other one followed after the second round.

“You play a lot in the barracks, don’t you?” Ben asked glumly after the third round.

“Not as much as I used to during basic training,” Hux smiled and watched Ben taking off his undershirt. The view just got so much better.

Maybe it became too good - it must have distracted Hux enough to unexpectedly lose the next hand.

“Beginner’s luck,” he remarked as he made a show of removing his tie.

“You bet?” Ben replied somewhat cryptically, dealing the next hand.

By the time Hux had to part himself with his jacket, shirt, both socks and his pants, Ben abandoned all pretense of clumsiness when handling the cards. Hux seethed.

“Show me that brace,” he demanded in the middle of the next round. Ben only gave him the most serene, indulgent smile, laying down his cards and letting Hux look his fill into his brace. There were no hidden cards up there. Hux still lost miserably.

“Shirt garters definitely count as one item,” Ben taunted him when Hux removed only one, face thunderous.

“Shut up. I am dealing.”

Next two rounds left Hux clinging to just his briefs. Ben put down the cards and laughed, oblivious in the face of Hux’s absolute fury.

“Babe, I know about something else we can play…”

“No.”

The resolute tone seemed to surprise Ben a little.

“No?”

“I have to find out how you’re doing it.”

Ben looked at him almost apologetically. Hux couldn’t decide if he wanted to kiss him or kick him.

“Babe… I am just cheating.”

Hux gave him a look that would make a row of first year cadets cover and run. “I know that,” he enunciated slowly, patiently. “I want to know how.”

Ben shrugged, entirely unrepentant. “Family secret, sorry.”

“Well, then-” Hux didn’t get to finish as Ben suddenly rose and slid over, scattering the stack of cards all over the carpet and straddling Hux’s lap. Hux leaned away as much as the chair allowed him, folding his arms across his chest and lifting an unimpressed eyebrow.

“Aren’t you cold?” Ben whispered, stroking up and down Hux’s arms. The shiver his touch left behind had nothing to do with the chill of the room, though.

“Not at all.”

Ben dipped his head down, breathing across the skin on Hux’s neck, leaving goosebumps in his wake. “You sure?”

“I’m perfectly fine,” Hux kept his voice steady. “And I am not moving an inch until you tell me how you did it.”

“Your rules,” Ben’s eyes gleamed and that was Hux’s only warning before Ben slid down to the kneel in front of him and started his kissing and nipping way down Hux’s body. There was a lot of exposed skin after all…

For a breathless moment, Hux suspected Ben would cheat here too and pull down his briefs - and truth to be said, he wouldn’t mind that much at this point - but Ben skipped them entirely, stroking down the sensitive inside of Hux’s tigh, planting a teasing kiss right into the hollow behind his knee and then grabbing one narrow foot, raking his nails lightly over the delicate arch.

How Hux kept himself from kicking Ben right then he would never know - but he still grabbed him by the hair, forcing his face up to meet his eyes.

Ben’s eyes were half-lidded with pleasure at the pull at his hair and still full of mischief.

“You moved,” he whispered. “You lost.”

“Seems I did,” Hux agreed, finally allowing himself to bury both hands in Ben’s hair, scratching and tugging in turn. Ben leaned into it eagerly, laying his head on Hux’s knees and going boneless under the sensations.

“But still I am the one who’s getting the prize.”


	2. Fresh Air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one was written by Frapandfurious as a surprise for squire's birthday. Featuring also a [surprise gift art](http://mini-mantis.tumblr.com/post/171688032631/happy-birthday-to-sinningsquire-i-hope-you-have) by mini-mantis.

It was evening when Hux arrived home, the early May sun still hanging on in the sky for a little longer. It cast warm light through their windows, outlining the hunched over silhouette on the couch, the familiar long, messy hair and broad shoulders of his husband.

Hux shut the door quietly and saw Ben’s head turn towards him at the sound. It was hard to tell, but he seemed to hunch in on himself a little more.

Hux slipped off his shoes, hung up his keys and stepped further into the room. He waited to see if Ben would speak first, but he remained silent and unmoving.

“Pete told me what happened,” Hux said. He spoke quietly but his voice still sounded too loud in the heavy silence. Ben flinched. “It wasn’t your fault,” Hux added. “We all know that. Riz was – “

“ _Don’t_.” Ben cut him off. He slumped forward further and put his face in his hands. “You don’t have to say that just to – “

“To what?” Hux interrupted back. He barely held back from snapping.  _Barely_. He wasn’t angry, just worried, but when he got worried it was so much easier to lash out. He and Ben had that in common. “Do you think I’m lying?”

“No, of course not, I…no.”

“Ben…” Hux walked over cautiously and sat beside him. At least Ben had showered; now that he was closer Hux could see that his hair was damp, and could smell the faint scent of his shampoo. “Talk to me.” 

“It  _was_  my fault,” Ben choked out. “I knew we didn’t have that move down, none of us felt right about it, but I left it in the performance anyway and  _Riz got hurt_.”

That was more than Hux had expected Ben to tell him about what happened, though he suspected it helped that he knew Pete would have told Hux everything.

 

*

 

_The Knights had a regional dance competition coming up. Last year they’d placed third, not bad all things considered, but coming so close left them hungry for victory._

_Ben and Pete spent hours watching videos of past winners._

_“There,” Ben said one afternoon, pausing the video they were on. He pointed at a dancer on the screen. “That move. We should do something like that.”_

_“I dunno, man. Those guys are a lot more…nimble. We’re all more, well…” He gave Ben’s bicep a squeeze. “Like this.”_

_“So?” Ben countered. “We’re still flexible, we’ve done acrobatics before. And we’re not_ all _built like you and me, look at Riz.”_

_“Hmm. You think Riz would do it?”_

_“I know Riz would do it.”_

_So he added a move to their performance. When Riz saw it, he was more than excited to try. But…_

_“The competition is in two weeks,” he said. “Is that enough time? Maybe we should wait. Use it in the next one?”_

_But Ben had pushed for it, and pushed himself, and the others, harder than ever before._

_The day of the competition arrived and they still didn’t quite have the move down. Riz only landed it every other try. It was too late to remove it and add something else, though, and so they kept it in._

_The rest was a bit of a blur, as things tended to be when they performed, the adrenaline overtaking them. Riz went for the flip with everything he had. One minute he was in motion, and the others were sure he was going to land it. The next, he was on the ground, clutching his knee and grimacing._

_Manu was at his side first, then Ben, the others following quickly. Pete motioned to the sound guy to cut the music and the on-hand medic rushed out from backstage._

_They got Riz to the back and settled onto a chair. The guys hovered around in a semi-circle while the medic took a look at his knee. Ben stood a little outside the group, still panting._

_It was just a twist, painful but nothing fractured or broken. Keep off it a couple weeks, compression and ice, pain meds, the usual. Nothing they hadn’t all been through before in their line of work._

_But Ben barely heard a word of it. He stepped back from the group, his eyes wide._

_“Guess we won’t be trying that again for a while, huh?” Mike joked, looking back at Ben. He frowned immediately at the look of horror on their leader’s face. “Boss? What’s wrong? He’s fine, look…”_

_“Yeah, I’m fine!” Riz piped up. “Guys, do you think this will get me out of my cousin’s wedding next weekend?”_

_“I can give you a ride home if you want,” Manu was saying to Riz. Pete and Joey caught Mike’s expression and both turned to look back at Ben with him._

_“I’m…I’m sorry, Riz. I’m so sorry…” was all Ben managed. Then he turned and hurried out. The guys called after him, Joey even tried to follow, but Pete caught his arm._

_“Let him go. I’ll call Hux.”_

_Hux was at work and missed the call, but had a detailed voicemail awaiting him when he checked his phone. The moment he was free he hurried home._

 

*

 

“When have you ever known Riz not to speak his mind?” Hux told him firmly. “If he didn’t want to do it, he would have told you. The guys are…you’re  _all_  a little crazy.” He tried for a light tone. “Individually, of course, but as a group you’re like a perfect storm.” He said it with equal parts frustration and fondness for his husband and the five surrogate brothers who had, apparently, been a package deal when marrying Ben. “And once you’ve got your minds set on trying something I doubt there’s a thing on earth that can stop you. Which is usually good. But accidents happen. You’ve  _all_  had injuries.”

“This is different.”

“I doubt Riz thinks so.” Hux sighed. “Ben, at least look at me…”

He reached over and wiggled his hand under Ben’s to cup his face. He tugged gently, coaxing him out until Ben gave in and turned towards him but didn’t meet his gaze.

As expected, Ben’s cheeks were damp and his eyes puffy. Roughly three hours had passed since the competition, and he’d likely spent every minute since beating himself up over what had happened. If left unchecked he’d continue to do so well into tomorrow and the upcoming week.

Hux couldn’t judge him for it; he’d feel like a hypocrite, considering how often he got stuck in a cycle of self-loathing over his own perceived failures.

But his heart hurt seeing Ben like this. Ben felt everything so strongly. It was one of Hux’s favorite things about him: he loved fiercely, with his whole being. But when he hurt, he hurt with his whole being, too. And Hux simply couldn’t sit by and watch him do that over something like this, an accident, which Riz and the other Knights didn’t even blame him for.

Tomorrow was Sunday; they both had off. Their only plans included errands and some much needed time together. The errands were off the table, but…

He kissed the bridge of Ben’s nose. “Pack a bag.”

“What?” Ben finally looked up at him, bewildered.

“You heard me. Pack an overnight bag. For both of us. Go on.” He stood and tugged at Ben’s shirt until Ben relented and trudged to their bedroom.

 

*

 

Neither of them had eaten, so they stopped at a drive-through. Ben ate in the passenger seat, passing bites to Hux. He didn’t talk himself through his feelings the way Hux often did on their emergency drives to the Solos’ cabin; he remained quiet and somber, but as the drive went on he at least seemed to relax.

By the time they arrived it was late and they were both tired. Hux knew they’d do little more than curl up in bed together tonight, but maybe tomorrow they could go for a hike or a swim, something to clear Ben’s head. Anything to keep him from wallowing in guilt.

“Why don’t you go put our things in the bedroom?” Hux handed him their bag and patted his arm. “I’ll make us some tea.”

Ben didn’t bother to argue, just took the bag and went. As Hux prepared two mugs of tea in the kitchen he could hear Ben putting their bag of toiletries in the bathroom and shuffling around the bedroom, folding down the bedcovers for them and cracking open the window to get fresh air. Hux felt the knot that had been in his chest since Pete’s call start to loosen. Ben would be fine. He just needed some time and enough distraction to keep from getting too deep into his own head.

When Hux entered the bedroom, carefully carrying two steaming mugs, he found Ben staring out the window. He had changed into a tank top and pajama pants. Hux stopped in the doorway to appreciate the way the pants sat low on his hips and the fabric of the shirt clung to his chest.

Ben turned and caught the moment that Hux bit his lip at the sight. Ben’s lips twitched up, though he didn’t quite smile.

“Admiring the view?” Hux asked as he moved to set the mugs down on the bedside table.

“Yes, I think you were,” Ben teased, voice still a little flat, but Hux was relieved nonetheless.

“Oh, hush. I’ve barely seen you all week, I think I’m allowed a moment to…reacquaint myself with my husband.”

Ben raised his eyebrows a little. “Oh, is that why we’re here?”

“It could be.”

Now Ben was very nearly smiling. “What about the tea?”

“Oh, we’re drinking this tea. This is the good tea Leia got me last winter.”

Ben huffed out a laugh. “Fair enough.” He slid into bed and held his hand out for Hux to pass him a mug. Hux crawled in beside him and picked up his own. They sat in silence, leaning against one another as they sipped.

By the time Hux finished his tea – he was always the slower eater and drinker of the two, Ben tended to just gulp things down – Ben had finished his and was slumping against Hux’s side, leaning with his cheek atop Hux’s head. His breathing had slowed and Hux suspected if he didn’t reposition them soon, he’d fall asleep like that.

“Alright, you,” Hux whispered, slipping from the bed but keeping Ben propped up with his hands. “At least get under the covers.” He moved the mug from Ben’s loosening fingers and then maneuvered his sleepy husband under the sheets. The moment Ben’s head hit the pillow he was out like a light.

Hux wasted no time putting the mugs away and changing into pajamas before crawling in with him.

 

*

 

When Hux woke again, it was to the silvery light of the nearly-full moon streaming through the window. He groaned a little, wishing he’d thought to close the curtain, though he probably wouldn’t have, knowing Ben liked the view of the lake.

_Ben._

The room was oddly quiet. Hux felt around behind him on the bed and when his hand met nothing but sheets, he rolled over…right into the spot where Ben had been. It wasn’t even warm anymore.

He slid out from under the covers and out of bed, stretching and yawning, and immediately shivered.

He’d been so warm, almost too warm, under the multiple covers with Ben pressed up against him, and ended up slipping off everything but his boxer briefs. It wasn’t terribly cold so much as there was an absence of  _warmth_  with Ben gone. Hux quickly reached down into their duffel bag and grabbed the first shirt he found.

Pulling it out he realized it was one of Ben’s nice button-ups, a light blue one. Hux sighed; he probably shouldn’t have had Ben pack their bag when he was so far gone into his head like that. Hux hoped they at least had a change of clothes for tomorrow, but if not, they’d make do.

Oh well. It was something to wear, anyway. He slipped the shirt on and rolled the too-long sleeves up to his elbows.

When he walked out to the living area of the cabin he found the door leading out to the back porch ajar. He felt the anxiety building in his chest dissipate; at least Ben hadn’t gone far.

His bare-footed steps were silent as he stepped onto the porch. It was wide, big enough for the whole Solo family to spend lazy summer afternoons on, and at one end was a pier leading out to the lake. There was a table with several chairs, a grill and a bench that doubled as storage for beach towels.

One of the chairs had been moved to the edge of the porch where it overlooked the lake. Ben sat in it, his back to the door. The moonlight cast his husband in silhouette, but he’d know those shoulders anywhere. It gleamed off his dark hair in a way that made Hux want to bury his fingers in it.

He began to walk over slowly.

 

*

 

The night wasn’t completely silent; there were crickets and frogs and owls in the woods, but their combined sounds made a sort of pleasant white noise that Ben founds soothing.

And then, just barely audible from behind him, the creak of wood boards and a little yawn, stifled by a hand.

He almost smiled. Of course Hux would wake and notice he was gone. He’d hoped he wouldn’t, Hux needed the sleep, he always did. But he knew there would be no point trying to talk him into going back to bed.

Hux came to stand beside the chair. Ben could feel his gaze, but he didn’t meet it, just kept staring at the still water.

“Aren’t you cold?” came Hux’s soft voice. Ben had been too warm in bed and removed his shirt, and was now sitting outside in only his sleep pants.

He shrugged. “Not really.” He finally turned to glance and then did a double take. It seemed he wasn’t the only one underdressed.

Hux was standing there in nothing but his underwear and an open button-up that was a few sizes too big on him, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The shirt looked vaguely familiar but Ben couldn’t place it, too distracted by the way it made him look so slender and soft, the way it revealed a line of smooth skin from his neck down his chest to his belly. Ben suddenly wanted to forget everything and grab Hux and kiss all of it.

“Why are you…where did you…” he stuttered out.

“You packed one of your nice shirts,” Hux scolded without heat. “It was the first thing I could find.”

“Oh.” Ben kept staring. Why, in all their years together, had he never thought to have Hux wear one of his dress shirts? What a wasted opportunity…

Ben’s hands clenched and unclenched in his lap before he gave in and held them out, making a little grabby motion.  _Come here._

And Hux did. He moved in front of the chair and slowly climbed on, straddling Ben’s lap. Ben’s eyes widened even more. Hux settled himself comfortably and Ben’s hands instinctively gripped his thighs to keep him there.

Hux cupped his face and considered him. Even in shadow his eyes were still so sharp, like he could see right through Ben.

He didn’t say anything. Instead he slid his fingers back into Ben’s hair and stroked through it once, then returned them there and left them, nails scratching a little at his scalp. Ben sighed and leaned back into the chair more. He slid his hands up and down Hux’s thighs. When Hux shuddered, he dropped them away.

“Are  _you_  cold?” Ben asked quietly, with perhaps more concern than was necessary. He already felt like a terrible leader and friend, it would be just his luck if he was a terrible husband and got Hux sick.

“I’m fine,” Hux said firmly. “Now put those hands back where they belong.”

That made Ben chuckle. He gave in immediately, smoothing his hands up Hux’s sides and chest to his shoulders, back down his thighs, up his back, down his sides. His movements were slow, almost methodic, taking in the feel of him, the smoothness and the angles and the curves as though it was the first time, as though he didn’t know this body as well as his own. Hux gave a small, contented hum and leaned into the caresses and for a moment Ben felt on top of the world.

The feeling came crashing down when he remembered why they were here in the first place. His hands stilled, coming to rest at Hux’s waist, and he gave a shaky breath.

Knowingly, Hux looped his arms around Ben’s neck and kissed him. “Do you need to talk about it?”

Ben lowered his gaze.

“You know what the worst part is? I mean, other than what…what happened. They weren’t even  _mad_  at me.”

“Did you want them to be mad at you.”

“No…yes? I don’t know. It’s just – “

“It feels like you deserve it.”

“Yeah.”

Hux carded the fingers of one hand through Ben’s hair soothingly. Ben absently thought that he  _didn’t_  deserve  _this_ , but he relaxed into the touch anyway.

“Remember when Riz dragged you guys to that restaurant in Jacksonville, and you all got food poisoning and had to drop out of the competition? Or when Joey bought your outfits online and when they came in the day of the performance they were all several sizes too small, so you had to run to the nearest department store and buy matching clothes? Or the time – “

“I get it, I get it…but Hux, that’s different. No one got hurt…”

“Riz isn’t dying or in a coma. He’s not going to  _never dance again_. He twisted something and he’ll be better before you know it.” He stopped stroking and gripped Ben’s hair just a little, just enough to hold his attention. Ben shuddered. “Ben. People make mistakes. And if you have good people in your life, like you do, they’ll love you anyway.” Hux loosened his grip, gave Ben’s hair a few gentler strokes and kissed his temple. “It took me a long time to find that.”

Ben looked up at Hux then and really saw him, really  _listened_.

Hux was leaning over him, his gaze gentle, his hand in Ben’s hair and the other arm around his shoulders. He was framed by a backdrop of stars, more than they ever saw at home. The moonlight made his hair look like pale gold and his skin like smooth marble. Like this he looked nothing short of ethereal, and yet his body was warm and real in Ben’s arms.

And this man was  _his_. Hux had chosen him, saw something worth loving in him. Even when he screwed up.

Ben struggled to believe in himself, but Hux? He believed in Hux. And if Hux said that it was okay, that he didn’t have to keep beating himself up over this, that he was loved no matter what…maybe he was right.

He began blinking rapidly and immediately there was a hand on his cheek brushing away a tear.

 

 

“Thank you,” he whispered, lip trembling as more tears fell. He felt gentle lips kiss them away and then continue cross his face until they finally found his.

Ben kissed him soundly then looped his arms around his hips and pulled him in as close as he could. He pressed his face into Hux’s chest and breathed.

“Thank you,” he said again.

“Shh.” Hux stroked his hair. “It’s all okay.” A kiss to the crown of his head. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Ben murmured. His eyes began to drift shut.

“Ben? …Ben. No, oh no you don’t, you are not sleeping like this. Don’t you  _dare_.” Hux’s voice was still quiet but urgent, laced with laughter.

Ben grinned. “Hold on,” he said, and felt Hux’s strong arms close around his shoulders.

Then he stood, taking Hux with him, long legs locked around Ben’s waist. Ben held him there a moment and looked up again, taking in the beautiful, perfect sight of Hux soft and sleepy and bathed in moonlight.

His lips began to curve up and Hux gave him a confused look which shifted into a knowing one.

“Oh, no…”

“Did it hurt?”

“ _Ben_.”

“When you fell from heaven?”

A swat to his head and Ben was laughing and then so was Hux.

“Just get inside. Ridiculous man…”

Ben carried him in carefully and Hux reached around him to pull the door shut behind them. “Hmm. You married me.”

“God help me, I did.” A pause. “Best decision I ever made.”

Ben swallowed tightly and squeezed him before letting him slide back down to his feet. “Me too.”

 

*

 

A week later they stopped by Riz’s together, along with the rest of the Knights, were met with a surprise.

Riz was sitting on his sofa, one leg propped up on the coffee table with a brace around the knee. Manu was sitting beside him. And they were holding hands.

“When did this happen?” Pete asked. He didn’t even sound a little surprised.

“Just yesterday,” Manu answered, grinning in that sappy way that came with new love. Riz wasn’t even looking at the guys, his attention fixed on their joined hands.

“Well. It’s about time.” Hux said, though he was smiling, happy for them.

“We should have started a betting pool,” Mike said regretfully.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh like you don’t know,” Joey said. “You guys spend time together outside of the group, like, constantly? And the  _looks_ , man. We all saw this coming.”

“And you’re always offering to drive Rey and Techie home together,” Ben added, “Even though you live on opposite ends of town.”

“That reminds me, boss!” Riz said, his eyes finally moving up to land on Ben. “We should thank you!”

“What? Why?”

“Well, Manu spent the week here taking care of me. You know, making sure I didn’t move too much, getting me food and stuff. And that’s how – that’s when – “ his face flushed and he cleared this throat. “Anyway. If we hadn’t tried that move, this wouldn’t have happened, and then who knows how long it would have taken us!”

Ben stared and stared. Beside him, Hux pressed his lip together to keep from bursting out laughing. All that fretting on Ben’s part, and Riz had managed to turn his minor injury into a  _good_  thing.

“It would have been, like, another week, tops,” Pete said.

“Yeah, a week wasted,” Manu said. “Now I can do this…” he kissed Riz’s cheek. “…all I want.”

Suddenly a pillow smacked Manu in the face, thrown by a laughing Joey. “Get a room, you two.”

Manu chucked the pillow back at him then kept kissing at Riz’s face, making Riz laugh and the others groan and keep tossing pillows at them.

Ben and Hux stood back from the fray, Ben still staring in disbelief. Hux looked up at him and grinned. “See? I told you it would be alright.”

“These guys…” Ben muttered, shaking his head slowly. Then he looked at Hux and grinned too. “I should have listened. You’re always right.”

“Not  _always_. But…usually.”

Ben laughed and took advantage of the Knights’ distraction to catch Hux around the waist and pull him in for a kiss. And things were more than alright.


	3. Wash Away Your Troubles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux has a bad day. Ben knows how to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written by frapandfurious for squire's birthday in 2017! Tumblr post can be found [here](http://obsessions-and-dreams.tumblr.com/post/158178206240/happy-birthday-sinningsquire)

When Hux has had a bad day, there are signs, and Ben has learned to read them as well as he’s learned countless dance moves. Their relationship is often like a dance and sometimes one of them has to take the lead. On the bad days, that someone is Ben.

The signs: tension in Hux’s neck and shoulders. The white-knuckled clench of his fist around the handle of his work bag. The hard line of his mouth and weary eyes which make him look older. If he knew Ben thought that he’d surely find it a bad thing, but, while Ben hates seeing him stressed, the thought of being around to see streaks of silver through beloved ginger hair fills him with a hopeful warmth.

That particular day is a bad one, starting early and running late and it’s only Wednesday. Hux returns home strung tight, cranky, quiet. He kicks off his shoes and doesn’t even bother to make sure they’re in their proper spot; that’s the first tell that something is wrong.

When Ben asks how his day is he gives a muttered half-answer rather than elaborate on one of his projects or share a story about his coworkers. That’s number two.

Before he has a chance to get any further, Ben speaks softly.

“Babe?”

Hux turns from hanging his jacket up, looking so weary that it makes Ben’s heart hurt. But he knows Hux will be okay. He knows that because he’s going to make it so.

Ben appraises Hux, then makes his decision. He steps forward, slow and fluid, and adjusts the discarded shoes to where they belong. Then he takes Hux’s bag and sets it on Hux’s desk, right where he knows he likes to keep it. He returns to Hux and with a hand on the small of his back guides him to the bathroom. Hux goes without protest and, if he needed another sign, that would be three.

In the bathroom Ben carefully strips Hux down. He starts at his feet and works up, removing each item and touching the revealed skin with firm, reassuring strokes as he goes. As he slips Hux’s shirt over his head he gives him a quick peck on the forehead and for a moment swears Hux’s mouth curves up a little.

Ben removes his own clothes quickly and much less methodically. Hux still says nothing but does sweep an appreciative glance over him; Ben takes that as a good sign.

One hand on Hux’s back again, Ben reaches over with the other and turns on the water. He waits for it to get pleasantly warm, then guides Hux in, letting him be first to stand beneath the spray. Ben doesn’t need the shower; he had his when he got home earlier. This is for Hux’s benefit.

Ben lathers up a loofah and pulls Hux forward a little so the water drums at his back. Hux’s eyes are lidded and he’s still silent but Ben can tell he’s starting to relax a little. Gently, lovingly, he begins washing in slow circles, starting at Hux’s neck and shoulders and moving down his chest.

Hux sighs at the feeling and gives Ben a look that’s not quite a smile, but still so incredibly _grateful_. When Ben moves back up to circle gently across one shoulder, Hux turns his head and plants a feather-light kiss on his wrist. Ben smiles.

He moves over each arm and then down to Hux’s belly and groin and thighs, letting the foam run down Hux’s long legs. Next he reaches around him to get his back and his ass, which he squeezes gently just for the breathy almost-laugh Hux responds with. When he’s done he hangs the loofah on a little hook and gently eases Hux back so that the water hits his shoulders and cascades down, rinsing it all away. His hands follow the water’s path, smoothing over neck and shoulders and arms and down sides and hips, ensuring the last of the soap is washed away and at the same time comforting Hux with his touch.

Then, Ben kneels on the hard floor. One at a time he runs his hands over Hux’s legs, up and down over the muscle.

“Hold onto my shoulders,” he instructs gently, and Hux does. He lifts one of Hux’s feet, both cleaning it and rubbing out the soreness from the busy day. He presses a kiss to the top of it then sets it down and gives the other foot the same treatment.

Hux watches him, stroking his thumbs over his shoulders in silent thanks. Seeing Ben on his knees gives him…mixed feelings. A little thrill, yes, at the suggestive nature of the position, at being pampered, at the sweetly alluring way Ben looks up at him. But also a desire to pull him to his feet and to eye level and kiss him senseless, or to switch the positions and let Ben know he, too, is worth pampering and worshiping.

Ben stands, sliding his hands up Hux’s sides as he does, sending a shiver through him. Ben pauses and then his arms reach around Hux. He holds his waist with one and with the other reaches behind him to turn the water a little hotter. Hux realizes with a half-smile that Ben thinks he’s cold. He takes advantage of Ben’s proximity to lay his cheek on Ben’s shoulder and kiss his neck. The pleased little hum Ben makes warms him more than the water ever could.

To Hux’s delight, Ben’s hands start moving. They slide firmly up and down his back, finding and working out tension. Hux leans more heavily on Ben and continues bestowing lazy kisses wherever he can without having to move from the cradle of his shoulder.

After a moment, Ben turns him so that he can better access his neck and shoulders, where he massages firmly with practiced hands. The day’s stress surrenders under his ministrations and Hux relaxes, shoulders slumping, head dropping to his chest, eyes falling shut as he lets out a long sigh.

Seeing Hux so unguarded stirs something in Ben. He thinks of the time a couple years into their relationship when Hux had a bad outbreak of chickenpox and was reluctant to even let Ben see him unwell, let alone give him medicine or cook him soup.

Now he trusts himself entirely to Ben’s care, and not in a case of illness or injury, but simply because it was a long day and he’s tired and Ben is here.

This is a side of Hux that only Ben gets to see; it makes him feel both lucky and overwhelmed with protectiveness, a fierce desire to keep that precious, soft part of Hux safe. Hux the military man, the engineer, the son, the brother, needs no protecting. Hux the man, his funny and thoughtful husband who loves lie-ins and sweets and hates spicy food and wearing scarves, is another story. That Hux is Ben’s and Ben’s alone and the responsibility is terrifying but the reward is endless.

Ben wishes he could do this forever, watch Hux so relaxed, but he knows they’ll start to get all wrinkly soon and that as much as Hux loves a good, warm shower, he also hates wasting water. With one final sweep down his shoulders and a quick kiss to the nape of his neck, Ben removes one hand and reaches for the shampoo - his own, not Hux’s. The other hand he keeps on Hux’s back, reassuring him of his presence. When he has to pull that hand away to pour a dollop of shampoo into it, he steps close so Hux can feel him there.

Ben lathers up the shampoo and works his fingers into Hux’s hair, darkened by the water but still bright and lovely in Ben’s eyes. He massages his scalp gently, scratching a little with his blunt nails, and then combs his fingers out through the strands, over and over. Hux hums contentedly, tilting his head back, endearingly cat-like.

“Keep your eyes closed,” Ben mumbles, then dips Hux’s head under the water to rinse out the shampoo. When he’s done he smooths the hair back from Hux’s face. Finally he turns Hux to him and tilts his chin up to gently clean his face. This he likes best, he thinks as he strokes thumbs over freckled cheeks. He’s unable to resist planting a kiss on each one. Hux’s eyes are still closed but there’s a smile playing on his soft lips as though he knows what Ben is thinking. Maybe he does.

Ben finishes his work and gives Hux a slow, lingering kiss, just because he can. It’s the sort of kiss that could lead to more and more, but not tonight.

He shuts off the water and guides Hux out to stand on the mat. It’s barely a few seconds and Hux is already shivering in the cool air before Ben wraps their biggest, fluffiest towel around him and dries him off.

Once that towel is wrapped snugly around Hux, Ben takes a second one, plops it onto his head and ruffles it, drying and mussing his hair simultaneously. Hux makes a little huff of feigned annoyance but doesn’t actually try to move away. When Ben lifts the towel again, his hair is sticking up every which way and he’s wearing a little frown that Ben can easily picture on a younger, more innocent Hux when he didn’t get his way. Ben leans in, smirking roguishly, and kisses at the pout until it starts to slip away.

“What?” Ben asks. “Don’t approve of my methods?”

He doesn’t expect Hux to answer and is pleasantly surprised when he does.

“I find them highly unconventional, yes.”

Ben laughs and with that the last of the tension eases out of Hux. He looks up and smiles, really _smiles_ , and it makes Ben feel as accomplished as if he’s just won a dance competition. Maybe more.

Ben, still stark naked himself, guides the towel-bundled Hux to their bedroom, to the dresser, and presents Hux with clothes to change into. Hux takes them and then his eyes sweep over Ben’s body. He reaches into the drawer and grabs a pair of shorts which he tosses into Ben’s face.

“As much as I appreciate the view, it is _actually_ cold in here, it’s not just me.”

They dress and then Ben starts to turn back the covers when Hux stops him with a gentle hand to his arm.

“I thought you’d want to go to bed?” Ben says. “Don’t tell me you’re going to do more work.”

“Actually.” Hux loops his arm with Ben’s and tugs a little. “I was hoping we could finally watch a movie together.”

“Really?”

“Yes, _really_.” Another tug.

The smile that lights up Ben’s face is like a shot of warm whiskey or the sun through the clouds. He barely has time to appreciate it, though, before he’s scooped up over one shoulder and carried to the living room.

Ben handles everything: gathering snacks, picking the movie, arranging them on the couch. As Hux settles in against his chest and pulls a blanket up around them, he decides that a day like today isn’t so bad at all if it ends with him here in Ben’s arms.


	4. Ways to solve an argument: run away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set during the first months of their relationship. 
> 
> Phasma's place sees some action.... too bad it's not the kind of action Hux had hoped for.

Hux glanced at the clock for the sixth time in the past five minutes - and then the doorbell rang. Finally. Five minutes late should really be nicknamed ‘Ben time’ he thought with more fondness than heat as he walked to answer it. Sometimes it was the car acting up, sometimes a rush in traffic… How could Ben keep from missing a beat in dancing when he had no sense of punctuality in real life was beyond Hux but here he was.

Ben got a dancing gig with the Knights this evening. A girl from that sort of family Hux's father was dying to get friendly with was getting married and from what Hux understood, it was a full blown, no expenses spared wedding. The Knights’ performance was just one of the highlights of the party which included a magician's show and fireworks. Ben was supposed to collect the handsome money after the act and meet Hux at the address Hux told him earlier.

Hux walked swiftly through the unfamiliar hallway. Phas, his oldest friend, was out of town on another mad adventure of hers (she called it investigative journalism) and asked Hux to keep her plants watered, fishtank alive, and ‘for fucks sake wash the sheets before I get back.’ Hux readily agreed. Even though he had to get back to the barracks before midnight, having Phasma’s nice guest bedroom for a few hours with Ben was a surprise treat he wasn't going to let go waste, not even a minute of it. But Ben…

“What happened,” Hux breathed out, horrified at the sight that greeted him when he opened the door. Ben sported an impressive black eye, his bottom lip was busted and swollen and from the way he stood, slanted awkwardly to one side, there must have been more bruises down his side and legs.

“You know weddings. All it takes is one asshole to start a brawl.” Ben attempted to grin and winced instead.

It was clear that there would be none of what Hux was looking forward to tonight. Ben's face wasn't even in a state for kissing. Hux's heart squeezed with concern and sympathetic pain - which was stupid, feeling sorry for drunken brawlers was stupid, and Hux did  _ not _ do stupid things. Taken aback by that unexpected feeling, he retreated behind the safe wall of righteous anger.

“And you just couldn't be the bigger person and stand aside.”

Ben frowned. “I couldn't really call myself  _ a person  _ if I let  _ that  _ slide. There was-”

“Yes, I am sure there was a reason for you to get messed up like that. There always is,” Hux cut him off, turning away and heading to the bathroom. He wondered if Phasma kept a first aid kit around here, somewhere.

They had so little time together and now he was going to spend it playing nurse. Hux didn’t even try to suppress his annoyance. He hadn’t spent years tiptoeing around his father, never knowing when the next hit would come, for him to be comfortable around someone who threw punches before they thought. It was true that Ben never displayed these tendencies before, but he  _ did  _ drop out of school, and his temper  _ did  _ run short, and… Hux supposed it was better that he found out now than later, before he became too… invested.

He turned back when he realized Ben wasn't following. He still hovered in the doorframe, hunched and scowling.

“You think I was fishing for it? You think I started it? Hux-”

“Oh I am sure that bastard was asking for it,” Hux clipped off sarcastically. “Just like the bench in the studio was asking to be broken in half when you couldn’t get down that step sequence, and like that wall was asking to be punched when that promoter last month didn’t pay you-”

“Nobody was fucking asking for anything! It wasn’t even my fault!”

“I don’t care whose fault it was!” Hux snapped. “It doesn’t change the fact that you look like a thug and that’s not how I imagined tonight was going to-”

“I’m sorry okay? So sorry I let you down!” Ben shouted and then he was... gone.

Hux blinked. There was just the sound of stomping, uneven steps, retreating down the stairway. A slam of the door downstairs. And then silence.

Just like the silence at his own family house when he his scrawny fifteen year old self would come home with bloody nose and scraped knuckles. His father would order him to his room without dinner and that was it. Maratelle didn’t give a damn.

Hux abruptly realized that just now he’d been the second asshole Ben had met tonight.

He ran out into the street. Luckily, the bus stop was not far. Ben was sitting on the bench, slouched forward, hair hanging into his face. He didn’t look up when Hux skidded to a halt in front of him. But he also didn’t get up when the bus huffed past them a while later.

“I’m sorry,” Hux started with the most important.

“Are you,” Ben muttered.

“I should've taken care of you.”

“I can take care of myself, thanks.”

Hux knew that, but it still hurt a little how cold did the dismissal sound.

“Ben. I'm your boyfriend, please, let me.”

“So now you're the boyfriend who cares? I thought tonight we were just the boyfriends who fuck.”

Okay, Hux deserved that.

“Ben… I'm sorry. I snapped, I didn't even let you explain.”

“And do I need to?” Ben asked sharply, finally looking up. “Do I have to fucking explain myself to you so you can decide if I was in the wrong or not?” There was hurt in his eyes, and stubbornness. But also dejection. His hands hung loosely between his knees, no raised fists, no stomping feet.

“No, you don’t,” Hux agreed, ashamed. “But...I’d like to know what happened. You got hurt… and I wasn’t there to help you.”

“You would?” Ben sounded honestly surprised, and Hux felt even more like an idiot than he did upstairs in the flat.

“Right now I kinda want to break the nose of whoever did this,” he reached out to caress Ben’s face and let his hand fall halfway into the motion, unsure of its welcome. “And that… scares me,” he added quietly. “I always thought I wasn’t so...”

“Violent? Reckless? Hot-headed? Stupid?” Ben recited tiredly, no doubt having heard all that a lot of times.

Another bus stopped by them and took off. Ben still didn't move an inch.

“Can we just go back inside?” Hux pleaded.

Ben huffed something that could have been  _ fine  _ and got up.

Back upstairs, Hux found the disinfection and sterile patches. The cut on Ben's lip looked worse than it was but still Ben flinched when Hux dabbed at it with a piece of gauze dripping with ice cold water.

“We were in the cloakroom, just getting ready,” Ben began quietly while Hux put away the kit and washed the few drops of blood from the sink. “There was a service hallway running outside the door, leading to the fire escape stairway. We heard someone yelling outside and I peeked out to see what was going on.”

Hux sat down on the edge of the bathtub. They could relocate to the living room sofa but he wasn't sure Ben wanted him that close.

“The father of the bride was arguing with his son. The boy could've been seventeen, maybe eighteen, and the father was yelling at him for bringing his boyfriend and ‘ruining his sister's big day’. I stepped out right as he was drawing his arm back for a slap and told him to fuck off.

“He didn't even reply. He just went all purple and punched me straight in the face. I was so stunned I took a tumble down the iron staircase,” Ben finished with a self-deprecating shrug.

“Ouch,” Hux winced for him.

“Guys ran out, Pete told them not to touch the bastard and that we were calling the police. There was a lot of yelling and spitting and the bride's mother had an epic meltdown and in the end they agreed to pay us the whole fee so we wouldn't sue. Pete knew all the right words, guess having a lawyer for a brother pays off even though he's got a huge stick up his ass…”

“I'm sorry, Ben,” Hux said, looking at his feet on the tiled floor of Phasma’s bathroom and feeling miserable. “I shouldn't have assumed.”

Ben pushed the wet ends of his hair out of his face and shrugged again.

“Understandable, I guess. Big fists, crooked teeth, short temper… fifteen year old me would knock him one for sure. I was constantly in trouble at school.”

“I didn’t know you back then,” Hux pointed out, looking away. And even if he did, it was a bit low of him to assume that Ben didn’t grow up.

Ben shuffled down from the toilet seat he was sitting on and came to a crouch in front of Hux, looking up into his downturned face.

“Thanks for taking care of me,” he said simply.

Hux finally looked directly at him, even if it was to fix him with an incredulous stare. “After all the things I said tonight, this is what you take out of–”

“Yeah, you said a lot of shit,” Ben interrupted him. “You always do when you’re angry. I don’t…. I don’t think you really mean half of it, you know? And I  _ am _ really sorry for screwing up our plans for tonight, too.”

Hux slid down too and hugged him, the angle awkward and grip too loose for fear of putting too much pressure on the bruises down Ben’s sides, but still he held on. Something tight and heavy lifted inside him when he felt Ben return the hug, the floating rush of warmth almost enough to erase the cold of the hard tiles beneath his knees.

“Phasma has a good horror movies collection,” he said eventually, muffled by the fabric of Ben’s shirt.

“Sounds like a new plan,” laughed Ben.


	5. Ways to solve an argument: sit down and talk it out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even after years of dating, Ben and Hux have plenty of disagreements. But when an argument takes an unexpected turn for the better, it goes to show how much they've grown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set roughly 4 years into Ben and Hux dating, still a couple years before marriage. :)

Ben perked up when he heard the front door to Hux's apartment open. Realistically he knew they didn't have much time before they each had to go their separate ways, Ben to practice with the Knights of Ren and Hux to meet with his father. But just this - being able to wait for him somewhere, being able to see one another in the little moments between coming and going, was still such a beautiful new thing that it made him happy every time.

 

Eight months before, Hux had moved from the barracks to this building not far from the academy, thrilled to finally have space of his own. Ben wondered, initially, if Hux's meticulously tidy nature would mean his apartment would look not unlike the simple, utilitarian rooms he was accustomed to sharing. So he was pleasantly surprised to find the personal touches he'd given it - plants in the kitchen window, a colorful blanket from his mother folded neatly across the back of the couch, a set of nice blue towels in the bathroom, souvenir mugs in one cabinet. And Ben's favorite thing, a framed photo of them on vacation, sitting on Hux's desk where he'd see it every night.

 

Not that Hux needed a photo to think of Ben as much anymore. Over the months, Ben gradually went from the occasional overnight to weekend stays to sometimes a whole week at a time. He still spent nights at the studio, especially when the Knights had an early morning practice, and he still stayed with Pete or Mike sometimes, usually when Hux was away and it felt wrong being in the apartment without him.

 

_ But. _ He had a toothbrush next to Hux's in the bathroom, mugs of his own in the kitchen, a drawer and a section of closet in the bedroom. One side of the bed was  _ his side.  _ Hux had never had a kitchen of his own before, so Ben bought all the pots and pans and utensils for it so that he could cook for Hux, which he did several times a week. He did repairs around the place, and was getting better at remembering to water the plants and bring in the mail and fold the laundry just so.

 

And yet something in his chest gave a little tug of fear every time it crossed his mind to call this  _ home. _ It was Hux's home; Ben just...crashed here. Like he did everywhere else.

 

(The tug of fear didn't stop his mind from imagining coming back here to Hux every night, waking with him every morning, making plans that extended beyond a month or a year from now. But only if that was what Hux wanted. He didn't know, and he was too afraid to ask.)

 

Hux walked in, hung his keys on the hook, set his things on his desk and exhaled slowly, closing his eyes a moment and allowing some tension to seep out of his back and shoulders after holding perfect posture all day. He wouldn't have time to relax now, but maybe he'd ask Ben for a massage later tonight. It could be a trade; Ben was  _ very _ good with his hands and it just so happened Ben thought Hux was  _ very _ good with his mouth…

 

“Hey, babe.”

 

Hux blinked into his living room where Ben stood, somewhat awkwardly, wearing his snug black practice clothes.

 

“Ben,” Hux said, lips curling into a smile of their own volition. “I didn't know you'd be back so soon.”

 

Ben took the smile as invitation to walk over smoothly and draw Hux in for a kiss.

 

“Hmm. Work was done at four thirty, we don't start practice until seven. Gotta get there a little early, though, Pete wants to talk about the choreography - “

 

“Yes, but,” Hux interrupted, a little perplexed. “You were supposed to stop by the DMV.”

 

The pause that followed told him all he needed to know.

 

“You didn't stop by the DMV.”

 

“No? I mean I could have, I guess, but then I would be rushing to get back here and change, plus I have to grab dinner at some point…”

 

“But you said you'd go today.” Today was too long a day for Hux to bother masking the irritation in his voice.

 

“I'll go tomorrow.” Ben was frowning. He backed away a little.

 

“And last week you said you'd go this week,” Hux said, exasperated. “You always put things off - “

 

“I'm busy too, you know,” Ben snapped. “You're not the only one - “

 

“I didn't  _ say that _ , I'm simply saying if you say you're going to do something, you should do it!”

 

The thing Ben was supposed to do was change his address on his driver's license from his parents’ address to Hux's. He barely even stopped by the Solo home anymore except to pick up Rey; yet most of his mail still went there, except Knights of Ren related mail, which went to Pete.

 

“I'm going to!” Ben shot back.

 

“Right, just like you're going to change the address for your health insurance, or your voter registration, or that one dance magazine…”

 

“I don't see why you mind,” Ben said with a scowl, “I thought you'd be glad not to have more of my shit in your way.”

 

Hux felt the blood drain from his face and he clenched his fists so tight he could feel his nails dig into the skin of his palms.

 

Their last big fight, a few weeks back, was over Ben leaving his things around. Except, he hadn't even been making a mess, not this time at least. That wasn’t it.

 

It was that something about seeing their shoes and coats side by side, Ben’s DVDs piled on the TV stand with Hux’s, the fridge half full of things Ben bought...it looked too much like the home of two people who  _ lived together. _ But it wasn't, not really, and Ben never said he  _ wanted _ it to be. The address change was more for his convenience than anything, and if he was stalling even on that, it must not be something he cared about.

 

Well if he didn't care, Hux didn't either.

 

“Look,” Hux spat, “if you want to keep picking up month-old magazines and expired coupons at your parents’ forever, be my guest. I was trying to do you a favor - “

 

It sounded condescending, dismissive, and he knew it, and he could practically feel Ben simmering from across the room. It wouldn't take much more for him to boil over, and yet Hux would keep pushing...

 

“Oh, okay, so now I'm a charity case?”

 

“I didn't say that! Don't you put words in my mouth, Ben Solo - “

 

“Don't talk to me like I'm a fucking child!”

 

“Then maybe you should stop  _ acting like one!” _

 

There it was; the final push. Hux could see the glimmer of hurt in Ben's eyes. His jaw and fists clenched, his cheeks and the tips of his ears went red, his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed down some comeback that would only prove Hux's point. Next there was the glance to the door, no doubt debating whether to hold his ground or storm off. When it came to Ben, there was about a fifty-fifty chance of  _ fight  _ or _ flight _ . And usually the former resulted in the latter.

 

But then...something new happened.

 

Ben closed his eyes and took a slow breath. On the exhale he turned away and began to walk, but not out the door. No, he walked into Hux's kitchen and returned a moment later hauling one of the kitchen chairs.

 

Hux watched, bewildered, as Ben set the chair down in the middle of the room and dropped onto it unceremoniously and  _ backwards,  _ long legs straddling the seat and his arms folded over the back. He was still frowning deeply, his face was still flushed, but...he wasn't shouting. And he wasn't leaving.

 

“What are you  _ doing _ ?” Hux finally managed. He felt like his voice belonged to another person, breathy and distant.

 

“You're supposed to sit too,” Ben grumbled. He wouldn't meet Hux's eyes.

 

“ _ Supposed _ to?”

 

Ben's gazed flicked to his and then away once more. He hunched in on himself, looking a bit less angry and a bit more sheepish.

 

“I read it,” he explained quietly after a moment. “That when couples argue they should sit down. It's supposed to make people feel calmer, or their heads clearer or something, so they don't…pace, or yell, or - “

 

He cut himself off but Hux would bet his life savings that the words  _ or break something  _ would have followed.

 

Hux found himself at a rare loss for words. Those seemed to happen more in the last few years with Ben than they had in all of Hux's life before they met.

 

_ So they don't pace, or yell… _

 

Ben had done more than his share of both of those in their arguments, and breaking things, too. But he was also working on it, slowly but surely. Hux had seen the shift in his demeanor over the years, all the times Ben tried so hard not to get angry because he knew Hux's history with his father and with bullies and he never wanted Hux to feel unsafe around him.

 

This, with the chair, was one of those times. Not just an act of growth or compromise, but of love.

 

“Well?” Ben muttered into his arms, where his face was buried to hide a flush now from embarrassment rather than anger.

 

And so he jumped a little at the thud of a chair barely two feet in front of his own, and glanced up to find Hux eye to eye with him, mirroring his pose straddling the chair with his chin resting on his arms.

 

“So,” Hux said calmly. “Who talks first?”

 

Ben stared at him like he'd grown a second head. Hux stared back, waiting.

 

Ben frowned, looked down, looked at Hux again, chewed at his lip. He looked almost...guilty?

 

“I forget what we were arguing about,” he finally admitted. “I mean, I remember. But I forget...why we were arguing about it.”

 

Hux opened his mouth and shut it just as quickly.

 

Deep down they both knew why. They were both stubborn, strong willed, and not always the best at communicating. It was a recipe for things to get blown out of proportion.

 

But Ben was right. Suddenly, sitting here face to face like this, it all seemed so silly. Why were they arguing about it when they could  _ talk _ about it?

 

Maybe there was something to this sitting down thing.

 

Hux took a steadying breath and dove in headfirst. “Do you  _ want  _ to change your address? To...this one?”

 

“Yes,” Ben answered simply, like it wasn't even worth questioning. Hux huffed, but it was more fond than exasperated.

 

“Then why are you putting it off?” he tried to ask it without accusation. Still, Ben ducked his head, looking chastised.

 

“Well, I really have been busy. And I didn't go  _ today _ because I wanted to see you after work. I missed you and by the time we get home tonight we'll just go right to bed.”

 

Hux felt a flutter in his chest at the words.  _ I missed you. _

 

“But,” Ben continued.

 

“But?” Another flutter, but this time one of worry.

 

“I'm scared,” Ben admitted cautiously. His fingers traced nervously over the wood of the chair back.

 

“Of what?”

 

Ben shrugged a little. “What I said about not wanting to be in your way was sort of true. ‘Tidge, what if we worked so well up until now  _ because _ we barely saw each other? And now suddenly...my stuff is here and  _ I'm  _ here all the time and next my mail comes here and…I don't want you to get sick of me.” The last words he forced out in a rush, but Hux heard them all the same.

 

Hux only had a minute to wonder at how Ben's words hit the nail on the head of one of his own fears. Then he was answering quickly, before Ben could regret what he said and change his mind and leave.

 

“It goes both ways, you know,” he said slowly. “You're around me and my things more now too. You could get sick of  _ me _ .” 

 

Ben looked comically appalled at the idea and Hux huffed out a laugh. “Don't give me that, you know we drive each other crazy sometimes. But Ben...we still barely see each other. The difference is now we don't have to wonder when the next time will be.”

 

Ben's gaze on him was soft as he contemplated his words, such a contrast with the indignant rage moments ago. “Yeah...yeah, you're right. It's...nice.”

 

“Really nice,” Hux agreed. “More than nice."

 

“It's great,” Ben said for both of them. “And we couldn't really keep going the way we were, could we? Our only nights together in hotel rooms and house sitting for Phasma. It was getting tough.”

 

Hux nodded. “She's dangerously close to never having us over again.”

 

Ben laughed. “Exactly.” Then he sobered. “I shouldn't have put the address change off. And I shouldn't have gotten angry when you called me out on it. I'm really sorry, ‘Tidge.”

 

Relief swept over Hux like a cool breeze. They were going to be okay.

 

“I'm sorry too,” he said. Then he hesitated. “So you... _ do _ want this then?”  _ Living with me? Sharing an address? _

 

“Of course I do,” Ben replied.

 

Out of the corner of his eye Hux saw Ben's hand slowly extended forward into the space between them. Hux didn't hesitate to reach out and take it.

 

Ben lifted the hand to his lips and pressed a slow kiss to his knuckles, liquid dark eyes locked on Hux's, and in that moment the last of Hux's worries were swept away.

 

All it took was a tug on Ben's hand and he was sliding from the chair to the floor, guided by Hux easing them both down onto the carpet, arranging them until Hux's head was nestled in the crook of Ben's neck.

 

With the fight out of them, they felt drowsy in the dangerous way that could lead to an unplanned nap if they weren't careful. Hux kept himself from it by toying with the frayed edges of Ben's t-shirt and wondering how it was he always managed to make dishevelment look so appealing. Ben’s hand was cupping the back of his neck, stroking slowly with one thumb, eyes half-lidded and content.

 

Just then, Ben had a thought. He chuckled a little and Hux’s eyebrows raised.

 

“What is it?”

 

“I was just thinking...what if your landlady walked in right now?”

 

“She usually knocks…”

 

“I know, I know, but what if?”

 

“I’m sure it’s not the strangest thing she’s seen in this building.”

 

Ben’s answering laugh was contagious, rumbling through them both, and Hux was quick to join in.

 

“Hmm...guess we’d better move the make-up sex to the bedroom, just in case?”

 

When Hux only rolled his eyes, Ben continued, “No? Here works too…”

 

In one movement he rolled them over, pinning Hux down. Hux huffed a laugh and swatted at him ineffectually. “Don’t you even think about it!”

 

If he  _ really _ wanted Ben off of him, it would take little effort. But in spite of his squirming and protests, he clung to Ben’s broad shoulders and welcomed his warmth and the press of his lips to Hux’s pulse.

 

They both knew they didn’t really have time for more than a little kissing before they’d have to pull themselves apart and continue with their busy afternoons. But the idea didn’t carry the hint of dread it once had when they started dating and never knew when they’d see each other next.

 

Now that they had a place to be together, there was tonight. Tomorrow. This weekend and the one after that and an indeterminable number of days beyond.

 

They both tried not to think too much about their future together, fearful of disrupting what they had, what they very much didn’t want to lose. After a life of running, for Ben the thought of  _ staying _ \- in one place, with one person - was a frightening one.

 

But in that moment, lying in the middle of the living room floor with Hux, Ben resolved to take the step forward, to stop hesitating. To change his address, to show Hux this wasn’t just another place for him to crash. Being in the apartment together felt  _ right _ , like something they’d both been waiting for without knowing it.

 

It felt like something worth fighting for.

 


	6. On the right track

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set well into their marriage, after they moved to Philadelphia and Hux started a scientific career.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanoned on a long and tedious ride and written in a flash with many Argentinian wine-induced mistakes.

As far as sabbaticals went, this had to be one of world’s shortest, Hux mused. Just three weeks at a university in another state - first a comprehensive teaching course for the PhD’s, then an intensive hands-on training session, two-day workshop, and countless hours of networking. Hux’s blood might have been replaced with coffee. As long as it might have seemed, being away from home and his own lab, those three weeks passed fast. Up until his university informed him that there was a “mishap” in booking his return flight… and the train connection was cheaper anyway. Taxpayers’ money. 

Nine hours. At least the seats in the first class compartments were comfortable.

For the first few hours, Hux worked till his laptop battery gave up. He had lunch in the buffet car. He watched the rural landscape of Virginia unfolding behind the windows like a short video clip set on repeat: woods, fields, woods, fields, and more woods. He tried to finish a book he packed and never had time to even open during those three eventful weeks but the letters started to blur together on the page. The drumming motion of the train was gently rocking his tired body to slumber. 

After he jerked awake for the umph-teenth time, his jaw stiff from hanging half-open and with a crick threatening to take over his neck, he was ready to curse the university travel policy to seventh circle of hell and back. He couldn’t help dozing off but he couldn’t sleep properly either, not like this, sitting and jolting and… of course, missing his husband. Those three weeks without Ben had been long enough, he could barely register his absence between the whirlwind of work and short hours of sleep. But on this dragging ride, with nothing to keep his mind occupied… Hux couldn’t wait. He would come home, Ben would be up late, maybe already asleep in front of the TV… 

Just over one hour left. Only one stop between him and Philadelphia. He could do this.  

He wasn’t aware he dozed off again until he jolted awake again to the sound of someone opening his compartment door, and a deep voice asking: “Excuse me, are those seats taken?”

“Surely not, go ahead,” he mumbled on autopilot, brain sleep-muddled and foggy. By the time his eyes stopped watering from sleepiness and his vision focused, there was a tall someone sitting in the seat opposite him, face hidden behind a large newspaper. His long legs couldn’t quite fit to stay politely tucked in front of his seat and Hux was glad for the extra leg space the first class provided. He was about to close his eyes again when suddenly two things clicked in his brain: he knew that mane of dark brown hair peeking over the newspaper edge, and he knew that deep voice better than he knew his own. 

He blinked awake, this time properly. Yes, he definitely knew those hands grasping the newspaper pages - big, with thick fingers and short-filed nails. He knew the simple titanium ring on the left ring finger. He’d put it on that hand himself. 

Confused, he cleared his throat to get rid of that scratchy dry throat caused by sleeping with his jaw dropping open - but before he got to asking “Ben?” the man lowered his newspaper, fixed him with curious, innocent eyes, and asked pleasantly: “Is something the matter, sir?”

Oh. 

Over the years, Hux learned that if there was one thing Ben inherited from his father completely, it was the flirting. It didn’t matter if it was their tenth date, tenth anniversary or just a simple meetup after work to scope out a new restaurant in the city, Ben would always, always try to flirt with him. Usually some cheesy nonsense that made Hux smile despite - or maybe because of - its complete nonsensicality. It was just something Ben did - and now his face was schooled into politely blank expression that would be almost flawless weren’t it for his eyes, sparkling with mirth and mischief, and that brief twitch of his mouth that Hux knew so well: Ben was biting his cheek on the inside. 

So it was like that. 

Hux suppressed a grin and leaned back, tugging the corners of his lips down in an expression of vaguely exasperated disinterest. 

“Nothing,” he said. “Just a long trip.”

The ‘stranger’ hummed sympathetically. “A boring one?”

“Very.” Hux closed his eyes briefly and then shot him a calculating look. “Though I have a feeling that’s about to change.”

They volleyed come-ons and innuendos between them for a good while, Ben actually blushing a couple of times to Hux’s great delight - he loved to win at other people’s game. But as funny as this was, Hux hadn’t seen Ben for three weeks and the physical pull to him was starting to become irresistible, like an ache in his entire body from forcing himself to hold back. He was about to call an end to the game when suddenly the stonewalls lining the tracks rose on both sides - the noise coming from outside amplified threefold - and that was Hux’s only warning before the compartment was plunged into darkness as the train dived into a tunnel. 

Hux had the sunblinds almost all the way down so the weak maintenance lights dotting the length of the tunnel did very little to alleviate the darkness inside of the compartment. He heard a shaky intake of breath - a rustle, fabric sliding on fabric - and then there was a hand on his knee, fingers tentatively sliding higher. 

And as suddenly as they got in, the train barreled out of the tunnel again. Hux blinked against the sudden flood of light and before Ben could get cold feet, he caught his hand and covered it with his own. 

Ben startled. He was still leaning forward, and gone was the cool flirting stranger persona. His bottom lip was caught between his teeth and his eyes were full of the same yearning that Hux was feeling. For a moment, they stared at each other, questioning. Then Hux glanced at the compartment door. 

The curtain was pulled over it, and Ben apparently had the genius idea of sliding the latch shut when he came in earlier. Nobody passing through the corridor could see them inside the compartment. 

For another moment they swayed in the motion of the train and then Ben was climbing over, straddling Hux’s lap and kissing him within an inch of his life. 

“‘Tidge.” Kiss. “Sweetheart.” Kiss. “Pumpkin.” Kiss. “I missed you so much.”

“I’m sorry I blew this,” Ben kept murmuring between kisses, “I had plans to seduce you slowly, maybe take you to dinner-”

“Seems your hands had a plan of their own,” Hux laughed. He couldn’t really blame Ben’s hands, though, when his own were firmly buried in Ben’s hair with no intention to let go anytime soon. 

Once they had their fill of kisses and Ben’s hair was mussed beyond saving, Ben very reluctantly agreed to slide off Hux’s lap and sit next to him. He patted his shoulder and said: “Come here, you must be knackered. You were nodding off when I found you. Get some sleep.”

Hux would argue but Ben’s shoulder looked so tempting. He could close his eyes for a few seconds, just to indulge Ben… 

The next thing he knew, Ben was waking him at their destination. Hux would never admit it but those thirty odd minutes of sleep were more refreshing than anything he managed during those entire three weeks. 

Ben would also never admit it, but he was watching Hux sleeping for the whole time. Re-learning his beloved face, recounting his freckles, admiring the perfect pink color of those soft lips, and falling in love all over again for the thousandth time. 

**Author's Note:**

> Find us on Tumblr - [frapandfurious](http://obsessions-and-dreams.tumblr.com/) and [squire](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/sinningsquire)
> 
> or on [Twitter (squire)](https://twitter.com/B_squire_C)


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